Gayoscopes

STAR SIGNS APRIL

Aries

its time to look into your heart and decide whether you really want to be in a relationship.  With an equinox around the corner, crunch time is here.  This will be a no-brainer for you either way.  Trust your instincts.

Taurus

Are you itching for a good fight?  Sometimes when life going swimmingley youre tempted to pick a fight, cause a commotion and generally act the tosser for no reason whotsoever.  Why do you need all this drama in our life?  You deserve peace and happiness, so accept it.

Gemini

You've had to battle worries, uncertainty and doubt to arrive where you are right now.  Yep, there are things you would like to change Gemini, but think back to just over a year ago and you'll see how far you have come.  So instead of looking at the frustrations this week, look at how much you've achieved.

Libra

You started 2010 feeling low, flat and used up.  But as the year passes things will pick up, so if this week has been totally bollocks, that feeling wont be around forever.  Until then calm yourself down, don't punch any kids this weekend, and try not to poo your pants with rage.

Scorpio

Scorpions are such narcissistic slags that, you know what, you work best when youre in relationship with other scorpios.  The great thing about this for the rest of us is that we don't have to suffer your possessive, jealous ways.  Expect your love life to take a soft, strong and sexy turn for the better this weekend too.

Sagittarius 

When your life turns to poo and wee this week, pray.  You don't have to be religious for this - you can pray to judy garland if you like.  The point is that when you're desperate you need to ask for help.  Then, just when you think its too late for things to improve, your problem is solved.  Don't ask us why; this is just the way the world works.

Capricorn

Its time for a spring clean Capricorn.  If your flat is a tip, your skin is in a state, or you've stored up some flab over the winter, tackle these issues before the summer arrives.  That way you self esteem will be rising along with the temperature and the down in the dumps state you've been in lately will be as much of a distant memory as the god awful winter.

Aquarius 

This week youll be tempted to lie, Aquarius.  Don't!  If you have messed up, its time to fess up.  One small lie always leads to another, so if you can just tell the truth you'll be saving yourself pain in the long term.  This week an old flame will try and contact you to relight the fire!  Whether your happy or not to hear from him try to keep your cool.

Pisces

Ok, so your always at the bottom of the list on the horoscopes, but that's the only place you will be coming last this week.  You'll be breaking new ground, achieving goals you'd only dreamt about a year ago this week.  With things running this smoothly don't put off a single thing.

Cancer

Stop trying to rescue people who don't want it.  Your forever giving advice and trying to heal rifts, but try looking at your own sorry life/relationships before you judge anyone else's.  Instead, look at what you need to work on and, um, work on it!

Leo

Its true - if you don't gamble in life you will never lose big.  But on the flip side you'll never win big either!  No, we're not saying you should go out and risk your health and happiness on one crazy plan, but playing it safe in life isn't always wise.

Virgo

Sometimes it's the most petty, pathetic comments that lodge in your mind.  If someone has made a snarky remark and its wounded you, forgive them for being a spud and move on.  Yeah, they shouldn't have said it to begin with, but don't let their insensitivity ruin your week